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Christmas can be a lovely time of year, full of traditions, memories and togetherness. But for people living with dementia, it can also feel confusing, overwhelming and unsettling. Busy homes, changes to routine and lots of new faces can increase anxiety, even when everything is meant with love. The good news is that a few simple adjustments can make a real difference. One of the most helpful things you can do is keep life feeling as familiar as possible. Dementia often makes it harder to cope with change, so sudden late nights, different mealtimes or packed schedules can feel distressing. Try to stick to usual routines where you can. That might mean keeping meals at the same time, maintaining regular rest periods or continuing familiar daily activities. It is absolutely fine to adapt Christmas around the person, rather than expecting them to adapt to Christmas.  The festive environment itself can sometimes be too much. Flashing lights, loud music, strong smells and multiple conversations can quickly become overwhelming. You might want to simplify decorations, keep the television volume low and avoid background noise where possible. If you are hosting, make sure there is a quiet space available where the person can sit and relax if things start to feel too busy. Familiar objects, soft lighting and a calm atmosphere can be very reassuring.
Family gatherings can also be tricky. A room full of people, especially those the person may not recognise, can feel frightening rather than festive. Smaller gatherings often work better than large crowds. Let visitors know in advance how best to support the person, such as introducing themselves clearly and speaking calmly. If the person forgets names or repeats questions, gentle reassurance works far better than correction. Clear and kind communication is especially important at this time of year. Use simple language, speak slowly and explain what is happening, even if you need to repeat yourself. Reassuring phrases like “You’re safe” or “We’re having Christmas dinner together” can help reduce anxiety. Remember that non-verbal communication matters too. A smile, a calm tone or holding a hand can be incredibly comforting. Involving the person with dementia in Christmas activities can help them feel included and valued. Choose simple, manageable tasks such as folding napkins, stirring cake mixture, decorating biscuits or looking through old photographs. Familiar traditions from earlier life may bring comfort, even if the details are no longer clear. Often it is the feeling of being included that matters most. Finally, be kind to yourself. Christmas does not need to be perfect to be meaningful. Supporting someone with dementia can be emotionally tiring, especially at a time when expectations are high. Focus on comfort, calm and connection rather than doing everything “right”. A quieter, gentler Christmas can still be a very special one. With patience, flexibility and understanding, Christmas can be a time of warmth and reassurance for people living with dementia, and for those who care for them too. It can be difficult for someone to truly understand what it’s like to care for a person living with a dementia unless they’ve walked a similar path. That’s where peer support comes in. When carers come together to listen, share, and simply be with others who ‘get it’, something powerful happens. The load becomes lighter. The laughter returns. And hope, often quietly, begins to grow again. Why Shared Experience Matters Carers often say that talking to others in the same situation is like “a breath of fresh air.” There’s no need to explain and no fear of judgement – there’s simply a mutual understanding. Peer support helps in so many ways:
The Power of Peer Support At Alzheimer Café Isle of Wight, we see the magic of peer support every day. Sitting with tea and biscuits, carers share their stories; the funny moments, the tears, the things learned. These conversations don’t fix everything, but they offer something just as important; connection and understanding. Learning From Each Other Every carer’s journey is unique, but sharing experiences often leads to small, practical breakthroughs:
The collective wisdom of carers is powerful. What one person has learned through trial and error can save another hours of stress.  Strength in Community Peer support isn’t just about emotional comfort - it can also be empowering. It reminds carers that they’re not invisible, and that their experiences matter. When carers share their voices it helps shape better services and raises awareness of what living with dementia really looks like. At Alzheimer Café Isle of Wight, this sense of belonging is at the heart of what we do. Our cafés aren’t just about information - they’re about people. Looking After the Carer It’s easy for carers to put themselves last, but connection and rest aren’t luxuries - they’re essential. Peer groups offer a space to refill your cup. To laugh. To talk freely without having to be brave all the time. Even a short chat with someone who understands can lift the weight of the day. If you’re caring for someone with a dementia, try joining a support group, café, or online community. You may walk in feeling alone, but you’ll walk out feeling part of something bigger. Every shared story adds strength to the community and reminds others that they are not alone. Peer support is more than just talking; it’s sharing a connection and having an understanding through lived experience. When carers come together, they remind each other that even in the hardest moments, there is strength, laughter, and love to be found. Remember: we may walk different paths, but when we share the journey, none of us walks alone. For people living with a dementia, art, music and storytelling can open gentle pathways to memory, emotion, and connection even when conversation becomes more challenging. Creative reminiscence isn’t about skill or talent; it’s about expression. It’s about the shared joy of painting, humming or singing a tune, or sharing stories of a childhood holiday. These moments don’t just spark memories, they can nurture identity, calm anxiety, and bring people closer together. The Power of Music A familiar song can transport someone back decades in a heartbeat stirring laughter, memories, or simply the comfort of recognition. Listening to old favourites, singing together, or creating simple playlists can:
Top tip: Come along to the Melody Memory Choir which runs at Medina Lodge in Cowes on the 1st and 3rd Friday of the month from 10.30 – 12!  Art as Expression Art allows people to express feelings that can be hard to put into words. Whether it’s painting, collage, or simply colouring, the process can be soothing and confidence-building. There’s no right or wrong — it’s about being present, not producing a masterpiece.
Top tip: Join Maddy for an art session at Parklands! Call 01983 220200 for more information.  Storytelling and Memory Sharing
Stories are part of who we are. For someone living with a dementia, storytelling can be a way to share, connect, and feel valued. Try:
Why Creativity Matters Creative activities can:
Getting Started You don’t need fancy materials or training.
When someone you love is living with dementia routines change, confidence can dip, and familiar things can start to feel unfamiliar. But technology, when used thoughtfully, can help open doors again. From voice assistants to simple reminder apps, digital tools can help people living with a dementia to retain some independence while staying safe and connected to the people and places that matter most. Technology isn’t about replacing care or human connection - it’s about supporting confidence, independence, and living well for both the person living with a dementia and those that care for them. Everyday Tech That Makes a Difference Voice Assistants (Alexa, Google Home, Siri) Voice-activated devices can be incredibly helpful for people with a dementia. They respond to simple commands such as “Alexa, what’s the date?” or “Play some music” and can offer daily reminders about taking medication, hydration/mealtimes, or upcoming appointments. They can also connect people to favourite songs, audiobooks, or radio stations. For carers, voice assistants can provide peace of mind - offering prompts without adding pressure and helping to maintain routine and structure throughout the day. Smartphones & Tablets
 Wearable Devices
Wearable technology such as GPS watches or pendant alarms can support independence while ensuring help is always close at hand. Some devices can detect falls or send alerts if the person leaves a certain area. Many people find comfort in knowing their loved one can walk, garden, or pop to the shops while staying connected and safe. Smart Home Aids Small home adjustments can make a huge difference.
These tools don’t have to be complicated - even a simple reminder light or voice prompt can make home life feel calmer and more manageable. A Few Things to Keep in Mind
Technology won’t replace a conversation or the comfort of familiar company but it can support someone living with a dementia to have independence and to live well while offering some comfort and peace of mind. If you’ve tried a gadget, app, or idea that’s helped you or someone you care for, we’d love to hear from you! It’s been quite a journey so far ……
Monday 14th January, 2011, was my wife’s sixty-fifth birthday and we were spending it with our daughter in Crawley as in August 2006 we had moved to France to begin our final adventure. We had almost finished renovating a farmhouse and outbuildings in the Charente and planned to spend ten to fifteen years there before returning to the Island; we had previously lived in Gatcombe, a small hamlet for the past twenty-seven years where our children were brought up. I had noticed Ruth was missing her usual magazines so I thought that an iPad would enable her to subscribe. I was very surprised when she showed little interest in using it. I had noticed her reluctance to use a mobile phone; an essential item in rural France where strangely coverage was pretty good. Unlike the domestic broadband connection! Occasionally, I would set off on my own to collect wood in the trailer or lend a helping hand to a neighbour and be away for hours. Ruth never phoned me but usually greeted me with “Why didn’t you phone and say you would be so long?” Now I recognise this as the first signs of dementia but at the time, it had no significance. I didn’t connect the mood swings and a growing tendency for her to keep close to me. I was focussed on renovation tasks. Ruth concentrated on making furnishings and had even tiled and grouted the kitchen, though she lost interest when I suggested she concentrate on working with me in one of the barns. She preferred to sit in front of the wood burner, cat on lap with an old magazine. Things came to a head when she returned home for a visit to the dentist and I put her on an Easy Jet flight from Bordeaux. We lost touch for almost twelve hours. She missed a pick-up at Ryde Pierhead and travelled by bus to Niton where she discovered nobody was around to receive her. They were all at the ferry hoping to spot her coming off a boat. Thanks to a pub landlord and a couple of helpful regulars, she was reunited and the panic was over. We were about to contact the police already having established that she had arrived at Gatwick. Ruth had her mobile. It was fully charged and I had given her a notebook with contact numbers as a backup. Ruth was having difficulty processing information and employing conventional logic. What relevance does this have? It shows the beginning of one couple’s journey. It reveals how plans can go wrong. The personal, financial and emotional stability that is established through many years of partnership becomes destabilised. At the time I didn’t know why this was happening and how I could best support a person I loved. This is not a unique situation. We often meet couples at the start of their journey who have taken that first step of being diagnosed and then left bewildered. Alzheimer Cafés are well publicised and become a tentative first port of call. I found a warm welcome, when I made my first visit. I was encouraged by an old friend who volunteered there and who assured me that we would be made welcome and should Ruth feel anxious, we could leave at any point. What I learned about dementia over the next year or so, helped me make sense of what was happening. I learned from the perspective of a carer not solely from a medical viewpoint. Earon Davis says: “It takes a community to maintain a human.” He is right and The Alzheimer Cafés provide support and the knowledge to face the future with strength - together. There are huge gaps in our care network. Diagnosis seems to be the primary aim of the medical profession but post diagnostic support is sketchy, unreliable and sometimes downright inappropriate. I am a retired professional, reasonably articulate, independent and lucky to have a reasonable pension. I was seen as being able to “cope”. I was under the radar. It didn’t stop me from reaching a crisis. In the wake of this trauma, I determined to make a difference. Nobody should have to share that experience. That is why, I became a volunteer and I now regularly help with three cafés. I know what it is like to face the future at the start of this journey. I know the challenge people face and the rawness of emotions that must be endured. I also know that my journey is still running its course but I have learned to value the relationship I still have with my wife and to adjust my perception of reality. So, I may wear an orange shirt as a volunteer but in many respects, I am no different to many of those carers we meet. After all, “We are all in the same boat”. Barry Jackman It is now Monday 29th September, 2025 and I still volunteer though Ruth passed away six years ago. A lot has changed in those 14 years and this week sees the review of the Island’s Dementia Strategy where Local Authority, NHS and volunteer groups combine to ensure good care is available to all Islanders. Alzheimer Café, Carers IW and Age UK are leading members representing Island people and we are all hoping that the new NHS Trust will join this unique partnership and show the rest of the UK how we look after people when dementia touches their families. Why Coming to an Alzheimer Café Can Make All the Difference Caring for someone with memory loss or dementia can sometimes feel isolating. Many families find themselves unsure where to turn for advice, support, or simply a friendly face. That’s exactly why the Alzheimer Café exists: it's a safe, welcoming place for people living with a dementia, and their carers, to come together, feel supported and know they’re not alone. A Warm Welcome for All At Alzheimer Café Isle of Wight, everyone is accepted just as they are. Whether you’re living with a dementia yourself, caring for a partner or spouse, or supporting a parent, you’ll find others who understand what you’re going through. The atmosphere is relaxed and friendly, and many people tell us that just being among others in a similar situation makes a huge difference. Learning Without Pressure Each café also includes a short talk from a knowledgable speaker on topics connected to dementia. We cover anything from practical tips to insights into how dementia affects the brain. Our talks are always delivered in plain, down-to-earth language, and there’s plenty of time for questions. Many carers say they leave feeling more informed and reassured, with a clearer idea of where to find help if they need it. Companionship and Conversation For people living with a dementia, the café is a chance to meet others, chat, laugh, and feel part of a community. For carers, it’s an opportunity to talk openly with people who genuinely understand, without fear of judgement. Friendships often grow naturally, and those shared moments of connection are often the most valued part of the café. Support Beyond the Café Parklands Dementia Resource Centre offers daily Wellbeing Club, health and wellbeing services, a Community Café, and even hairdressing and massage because small comforts matter when you’re caring or being cared for. It’s all about supporting people to live well with dementia, in an environment that feels safe and familiar. Why It Matters Since starting our first café in 2009, Alzheimer Café Isle of Wight has helped hundreds of families feel less alone. For many, the cafés become a lifeline—somewhere to gain knowledge, share experiences, and, perhaps most importantly, enjoy a sense of belonging. If you or someone you know is affected by dementia, you are warmly invited to come along. Pull up a chair, have a cup of tea, and see what a difference it can make. For our full calendar of events including all of our Alzheimer Cafés, click the button below.  When dementia first begins to show itself, the signs can be subtle; misplaced keys, forgotten words, repeating the same story, or struggling with tasks that once came easily. For the person experiencing these changes, it can feel unsettling, confusing, and even frightening. At this stage, many people choose to deny there is a problem, downplay their difficulties, or try to hide them from others.
Why Denial and Hiding Happen
A common part of this denial is reluctance, or outright refusal, to visit the GP. The thought of sitting in a doctor’s office and hearing the words “dementia” can feel overwhelming. There may also be fears of losing a driving licence or being told they can’t manage finances. Yet an early diagnosis can be very valuable. It can open up access to support services, help with planning ahead, and, in some cases, allow treatment to slow symptoms or manage related health conditions. How Families and Spouses Can Be Supportive Supporting a loved one through this stage requires patience, empathy, and sensitivity. Here are some ways family members can help:
Dementia can feel like a heavy word, but at the early stage, life doesn’t stop. With understanding and encouragement, families can help their loved ones take the first steps toward seeking support while still respecting their independence. Parklands Dementia Resource Centre in Cowes offers advice, information, and support for those with memory loss or with a diagnosis of dementia. Call 01983 220200 or pop in to Parklands, Park Road, Cowes, PO31 7LZ for a chat with one of our team.  Did you know….
1. If you feel thirsty, you are already dehydrated? 2. Our sensation of thirst can lesson as we age so older people might not feel thirsty at all, even in very hot weather Staying hydrated is especially important for older people during the summer months, as they can be more vulnerable to the effects of heat and dehydration. Dehydration can lead to serious health problems, including confusion, urinary tract infections, constipation, and in severe cases, heatstroke. - Simple tips can help remind older people to drink regularly, such as: - Keeping a water bottle or glass of water within easy reach - Setting reminders or alarms throughout the day - Offering variety of drinks like water, squash, or tea - Encouraging small, frequent sips rather than waiting until they feel thirsty (which they might not feel at all!) These small steps can make a big difference in helping older people stay safe and well in hot weather. If you would like a free hydration plan or other "Hydrate To Feel Great" resources, please click the button below!  When problems with memory occur and daily routines become harder to follow, nature has a way of offering something simple and powerful: comfort, connection, and calm. For people living with a dementia, being outdoors, especially in gardens, can offer emotional, sensory, and physical benefits that are second to none.
Even a short time in the fresh air can lift spirits, reduce agitation, and bring about moments of joy. Here's why gardening and spending time outdoors can be such a meaningful part of life for someone with a dementia. 1. A Feast for the Senses Gardens are full of gentle sensory elements that can be lovely to experience for someone living with a dementia. Familiar smells, sights, and sounds of a garden can help someone with a dementia to feel calm and happy in a world that can often feel overwhelming and muddled. Things to think about:
2. Reminiscence Gardens can become powerful tools for reminiscence therapy. Many people living with a dementia will have vivid memories of gardens they once tended, vegetables they grew, or even flowers they picked as children. The smell of tomatoes might remind someone of summer picnics they had, while pruning a rose bush might bring back memories of a garden they loved. These moments of connection, to the past and to the present, can be incredibly comforting. 3. Encouraging Movement and Independence Even light gardening can support physical health, helping with mobility, coordination, and muscle strength. Being outdoors can also give people a sense of independence and purpose that they may feel they’ve lost. Ensuring the right support and adaptations (raised beds, benches, wide paths), can mean many people with a dementia can continue to take part in gardening activities even as their dementia progresses. 4. Promoting Social Connection Gardens can bring people together, whether it’s a shared allotment project, a care home garden club, or simply two people planting bulbs side by side. Gardening offers a non-verbal way to connect, which can be especially helpful if verbal communication has become more difficult. There’s no pressure to perform or get things “right.” Just the act of being together, hands in the earth, can bring about a sense of closeness and ease. Practical Tips for Outdoor Activities:
We are very excited to announce that we're in the process of creating a dementia friendly garden at Parklands Dementia Resource Centre. Work is ongoing so keep your eyes peeled! Dementia affects more than memory - it can also change the way a person sees and experiences the world around them. One area that’s often overlooked is colour perception. For someone living with dementia, colours can appear duller, blend together, or even take on different meanings. Understanding this can make a big difference in how safe, comfortable, and independent a person feels in their home or care setting. Why Does Colour Perception Change? The brain plays a key role in how we process visual information and damage to the brain can affect depth perception, contrast sensitivity, and colour differentiation. People may begin to struggle with seeing objects clearly, especially if they’re similar in tone or blend into their surroundings. Dark colours can be seen as holes or obstacles. Shiny surfaces may appear wet or unsafe. Patterns can be confusing or overwhelming. Even something as simple as a white toilet in a white bathroom can become difficult to identify. Practical Tips to Support Colour Perception. Here are some simple, effective ways to use colour and contrast to support someone living with a dementia: 1. Use Strong Contrasts Choose items that clearly contrast with their surroundings. A red plate on a white tablecloth is easier to see than a white plate on a white surface. This can help improve appetite and confidence at mealtimes. 2. Make Important Objects Stand Out Use bold colours for things that need to be easily seen like toilet seats, grab rails, light switches, or door frames. 3. Avoid Confusing Patterns Busy patterns on carpets, furniture or walls can be disorienting. Stick to plain, contrasting colours where possible, especially on floors and stairs. 4. Beware of Dark or Shiny Surfaces Dark rugs or mats may be perceived as holes or something to be avoided, causing hesitation or fear. Likewise, shiny floors might look slippery. Use matt finishes and lighter, neutral tones where safe and appropriate. 5. Use Colour to Support Independence Colour-coding areas can help people navigate their home or care setting more confidently. For example, a red door could signal the bathroom, while a green one leads to the kitchen. This gentle guidance can reduce anxiety and support independence. Why It Matters When someone with dementia can’t make sense of their environment, they may become confused, anxious, or distressed. Small changes in colour and contrast can make everyday tasks feel easier, safer, and more familiar. These are simple but powerful tools!  |
