Intergenerational Connection: Getting Children and Young People Involved

Dementia affects the whole family, and children often notice changes before they fully understand them. Yet children and young people can play a beautiful and meaningful role in supporting someone living with a dementia. Their energy, curiosity and kindness can spark moments of joy, awaken memories, and create bridges between the past and present.
 
Intergenerational connection can enhance wellbeing for both the child and the person they are spending time with. With the right guidance, these moments can become some of the most treasured family memories.

Why Children Make Such a Difference
Children bring something unique to these relationships:
 

• Playfulness, which can lift mood and reduce anxiety
• Curiosity, which leads to natural reminiscence conversations
• Gentle presence, which often feels less demanding than adult interactions
• Non-judgement, allowing the person with a dementia to feel safe and valued

 
Even small, simple interactions can brighten a whole day.
 
Explaining Dementia to Children
Honesty helps children feel secure. Using clear and simple language can help put a child at ease that yes, things might feel different but no, you don’t need to be worried or afraid.
 

• “Grandad’s brain works a bit differently now.”
• “Nanny might forget names, but she still loves you very much.”
• “Sometimes she gets a bit muddled, but she knows we are here to help her feel safe and she loves spending time with you.”

 
Let them ask questions. Reassure them that they’re not responsible for “fixing” anything and that their role is simply to be themselves.

Activities That Bring Generations Together
The best activities are simple, familiar, and flexible. Here are some that work beautifully:
 

• Looking at Photos Together - Children love stories, and grandparents love sharing them. A photo album can spark laughter and memories for everyone.
• Gentle CraftS - Paper chains, colouring, sticking shapes, decorating biscuits are all low-pressure crafts that allow conversation to happen naturally.
• Reading Books - Children can read aloud, or they can listen as the grandparent reads short, familiar stories. Picture books work especially well.
• Music & Singing - Songs from the grandparent’s younger years can trigger strong memories. Children often enjoy the novelty and join in quickly.
• Playing Games - Simple card games, dominoes, building blocks, or rolling a soft ball back and forth support connection without pressure.
• Short Walks - A short walk in the garden offers fresh air and gentle companionship.
• Helping with Small Tasks - Folding napkins, watering plants, arranging flowers are all shared tasks that provide purpose and a sense of togetherness.

 
Setting Children Up for Success
A few gentle guidelines help everyone feel comfortable:

• Keep visits shorter rather than longer
• Avoid large groups or noisy environments
• Let the child lead the pace
• Prepare the child if the grandparent/person they are visiting is having a difficult day
• Praise their kindness and reassure them afterwards

 
Children often notice emotional shifts. Talking about things can help them open up and process their feelings.
 
Benefits for the person with a dementia
Time spent with children or young people can greatly benefit the person living with a dementia. It can:

• Improve mood
• Reduce loneliness
• Encourage movement and engagement
• Support reminiscence and identity
• Offer comfort through gentle touch or laughter

 
Even if the person with dementia doesn’t remember the visit later, they often retain the emotional experience and the child will also have fond memories to treasure for a long time!
 
Keeping the Bond Alive
As dementia progresses, the relationship will naturally change. But connection is still very much possible, even in later stages. Holding hands, listening to music, or simply sitting together can be enough.
 
Intergenerational moments remind families that love doesn’t disappear, it simply adapts.