|
Communicating with someone with a dementia can be challenging and we might find ourselves unsure of how to respond in certain situations, or if we’re saying and doing the ‘right’ things. Answering questions time and time again can feel frustrating, and feeling like we need to correct things that we know aren’t ‘true’ or ‘accurate’ can lead to anger and upset. We’ve been there, we understand, and we are here to offer a few hints and tips that might help. Connection rather than correction Its said that ‘all human behaviour is a form of communication’. When attempting to communicate with someone with a dementia, take time to listen and observe how they are feeling. A good example of this is a person talking about their mother and father as if they are still alive even though they may have passed away a long time ago. Any one of us may have lovely memories of parents who are dear to us and who have supported us when times have been tough or demanding so it makes sense that as dementia progresses and we are feeling ‘lost’ in time and place, that we may get a little muddled in knowing the ‘facts of the matter’. The person with a dementia may be asking about a parent because they feel unsafe and are looking for someone to reassure or help them. Letting the person know that they are safe, and that everything is ok can help reduce anxiety and agitation. To tell the person that their mother died many years ago may have a huge emotional impact – it may be like hearing that news for the very first time. So instead of correcting them, try redirecting the conversation. After acknowledging that they may be feeling sad or upset, ask if they have been thinking about their mother, then talk a little about the things they liked to do together, holidays they went on in the past, and enjoy reminiscing about the happy memories they have. As people with a dementia move on in their journey they may be unable to retain new information but their oldest memories are usually fairly secure, so reminiscing and asking about their past is a really good way to create a positive and meaningful dialogue. Instead of correcting someone with a dementia when they are mistaken, try to acknowledge their feelings and reassure them. Another tell-tale sign that people are not feeling safe in their environment may be them saying, “I need to go home now”. Rather than explaining that they already are home, acknowledge that you understand they are feeling sad/unhappy/upset then you might respond by saying, “where’s home? What do you like about it?” Who did you live there with?" You can then go on to continue to reassure and talk about people and places that the person remembers. This approach acknowledges their emotions and might help to redirect the conversation in a comforting way.  Avoid arguing If the person with a dementia insists on something that isn’t accurate, try not to argue. Instead, gently redirect or go along with their reality if it brings them comfort. Avoid telling untruths if possible, as it could result in losing the trust of the person. Here's an example - if the person believes they have an appointment that doesn’t exist, rather than saying, “no, you don’t have an appointment,” you might say, “let’s check your diary/calendar. In the meantime, would you like a cup of tea?” You can move the conversation along without anger or frustration from either person involved. If they are anxious about a situation that isn't accurate, try reassuring them by saying you’ll make some calls and ask if they’d like to listen so some music or do something they like while you get to the bottom of things. You will likely find that the new activity breaks the cycle of worry and anxiety, even if it’s just for a short while. Reminisce Looking at old photographs, listening to familiar music, or talking about past experiences can spark joy and encourage conversation. For instance, saying, “I found this picture of you at the beach! Did you like going to the beach?” may bring back fond memories and ease communication. Remember – those older, earlier memories are still there and by using photographs and music as prompts and triggers, you may find you both take a lovely trip down memory lane together. Ask questions in a clear and concise way Complex questions can be overwhelming for someone with a dementia. Instead of asking, “What would you like for breakfast?” try, “Would you like cereal or toast for breakfast today?” This provides a clear choice which can make it easier for the person to respond to and also includes them in decisions about their day. Allow plenty of time to respond Someone with a dementia may need extra time to process information and respond. Try to avoid interrupting or finishing their sentences, even if they struggle to find the right words. Instead, wait patiently and offer gentle prompts if needed. For example, if they forget a word, you could ask, “are you thinking of your favourite blue shoes?” rather than, “You mean your blue shoes.”  Try to stay positive and reassuring
As with any interactions we have in life, our attitude and tone can greatly impact the mood and the communication with someone with a dementia. If that person is struggling to communicate, try to remain patient and reassuring. If appropriate, touch their hand to let them know you’re there and that they are safe. Smile at them, let them know there’s nothing to worry about and that everything is ok. Sometimes we don’t need to say anything at all to let someone know we’re there for them. Take care of yourself Caring for someone with a dementia is emotionally and physically demanding. Make sure to take breaks and seek support from places such as Alzheimer Café Isle of Wight, Parklands Dementia Resource Centre, or Carers IW. There are lots of people in the same boat as you, and by talking to others, sharing stories, learning, and creating a support network which includes others who understand, everything can begin to feel that bit easier. We’re here to help If you have any questions about our blog or would like any advice or support, please get in touch. You can email us at [email protected], call us on 01983 220200, or visit us at Parklands Dementia Resource Centre, Park Road, Cowes, PO31 7LZ. Comments are closed.
|